I hurt my shoulder, bad. Worked through the pain for months not saying anything. Now months later the pain is the same, no amount of therapy or pills or rest made a difference so far. I am back in a sling and I am not liking it.
I feel useless, powerless, disarmed. More of a burden than a help. I am teetering between being pushed down and coming up on top. I lost all direction, personal, vocational, emotional. I never thought having a bad shoulder would cause such a existential crisis in me.
Today I lost my cool for a while, I had been on the brink for days and I finally fell into the hole. The tears released something in me, one minute I was crying, the next I was laughing hysterically. Once I calmed down I finally made an appointment for acupuncture. I have high hopes!
Until then I simply grit my teeth, get up in the morning and do my best to go with the flow. It is what I have done my whole life.